THE $600 PRESCRIPTION

Five or six years ago, I tried to talk with my Doctor about sex.  My annual “wellness exam”.  He’s not real good with sex stuff – probably because I don’t usually ask the common questions but this day I gave him a familiar one.  I told him that my erections were not what they used to be.  He, of course, suggested I get some pills. If my doctor’s office is like yours, there is an alter set up in the waiting room with all kinds of drug literature and a television playing above it running drug commercials.  You may have also noticed a constant stream of drug salespersons pulling their little wheeled luggage carts full of money through the waiting area. So, the offer of a prescription was no surprise.  Even so,  I thought, “What the hell.  I won’t be narrow-minded about this.  I’ll try it.” 

He wrote a prescription for ten of them before he put on a fresh rubber glove and invited me to bend over.  The prostate exam is the only time I can honestly wish that, for this one tender moment, I were gay.  Instead, I’m thinking, “Relax!  Relax!   Don’t tense up!  Don’t tense up!”  He always finds the prostate but it ain’t easy. I make him work for it.  

That evening G and I were in town for dinner and we dropped by the drugstore to pick up my prescription – looking forward to later that evening when we could see what the hell, if anything, was going to happen.  Would I get this enormous, beautiful steel-hard penis that would evoke both our admirations?  Or not?   

I quickly looked at my options.  I could pay the unexpected large sum of money for them or I could ask the clerk to hold up the line while I scoured the store for G and got her input after going through the inevitable conversation – “$600?”  “Yeah.”  “$600?”  “Yeah.” “For how many pills?”  “Ten…ten pills” “Are you sure you heard it right?”  “Yeah, $600.”  “For ten pills?”  “Yeah.  What do you think?”  “$600 for ten pills?”  

She browsed around the store while I waited at the prescription counter watching myself and my fellow standers-in-line fidgiting on the security television screen suspended above us.  Finally I am summoned to the counter, state my name, birthdate and the name of the prescribing doctor, withdrew my credit card from my wallet and was prepared to conclude the purchase quickly, silently and efficiently for the benefit of those waiting in the now expanded line of anxious faces behind me when the young woman behind the counter said,  “OK, that comes to $600 plus tax. Credit or debit?”  I can imagine the expression on my face because I was expecting maybe…$30.00 or, best case, a $5.00 co-pay.  G and I are “comfortable” but not wealthy enough to spend $600-plus tax on hard-on pills without at least discussing it beforehand. But she was out in the store somewhere, the credit card was in the slot and there was a line of impatient people behind me.

So, I bit the bullet, said, “OK”, swiped the card, signed the little screen with the provided stylus and walked away with my little bag of pharmaceutical gold.  

When I found G, I whispered, “I just bought $600 worth of hard-on pills!”  She laughed and said, “$600?”  “Yeah.”  “$600?”  “Yeah.” “For how many pills?”  “Ten…ten pills” “Are you sure you heard it right?”  “Yeah, $600.”  “For ten pills?”  “Well, I didn’t know it was going to cost that much and and there were people in line and I didn’t know where you were so I bought them.  I’ll tell you about it in the car.”   

We had a good laugh on the way home and, I think, used them well.  They did make a little difference, most noticeable the morning after taking them. That was nice because we are both very sexually responsive in the morning.  Morning sex is different from evening sex. So, we enjoyed the pills sort of like we enjoyed shaving the bush…it was fun to try but we don’t need them.  I think I have one left.  I’m going to take it one night soon without telling G and see of she notices anything different.  

If you’re new to the blog, please scroll all the way down to the bottom and start there.  I think you will find it interesting.

6 thoughts on “THE $600 PRESCRIPTION

  1. Hey, Love your blog, but I have gotten those pills and 30 generic came to $33.00. Next time ask for generic. Same active ingredient as Cialis or Viagra..

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Sheesh — good to know! That’s ridiculous. $600 is absurd.

    I’ve been thinking about the kinds of orgasm lately, as I continue exploring with my Baby Girl. I think there might be three types of orgasm. Has your wife talked to you about the difference between a clitoral-only orgasm and a g-spot orgasm? For me it’s a huge difference. The clitoral orgasm is like sugary candy, while the g-spot orgasm is a rich chocolate cake — more substance and more “filling”, as it were. I am not a squirter, but I wonder if that would be a third type: the orgasm with ejaculate. I’ve heard from those with prostates that prostate-based orgasms are different than penis-only orgasms in similar ways, which makes me think there’s three: prostate/g-spot-based, what you call a pure orgasm, and a messy/squirty orgasm. What do you think? You have so much more experience than I do, I’m really curious your opinion on the matter.

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    1. If I understand your comment, G’s responses have changed with age, much as mine have. I think the clitoral was more intense when we were younger but the G-spot is now more intense. Usually. There is so much variation in orgasms. They are dependant on how long it has been since the last one (this is especially true of the one with ejaculation. It drains me, now, but when I was younger, it wasn’t noticeable), upon the emotional energy we bring, what kind of day we’re having, etc. Also, it is entirely possible that you and your partner have figured something out that G and I have overlooked. Keep paying attention and let me know. I would like for this blog to become a place where we can all share insights and successes and learn from each other. And, incoidentially, I have discovered that the pills can be bought much cheaper but I still don’t need them.

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  3. Hilarious post thank you. But poor you having to fork out that much money. A friend past on your blog to me other week. I am really enjoying it. And during this lockdown it has given me the ‘urge’ to be more playful. Why they he’ll not…We’ve loads of time on our hands. My husband hasn’t read it but has experienced it ! His response was…I don’t know what you just did, but I like it. Have been playing around with edging all week now and it’s so much fun. Thanks for the sex boost. C.

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