Post #2 The power of the pause

Pure orgasms, cumorgasms and Premature Ejacula…….Oh, No!

Please scroll down and read Post #1 first. Without that one, this one isn’t going to make a lot of sense. Thanks

Let’s get into what is called “Male Multiple Orgasm” in this installment.  This is important stuff.  It is beneficial to you and your wife and it becomes even more important when you guys get older and your prostate does what prostrates do when you get older.   Its also a contradiction to what most of us have always believed to be true and it might seem strange to most of you.  Hopefully I can tell you enough about my experience with it to help get you there or, at least, enough to generate some questions and comments that may help get you there. I will also get into some random things you might like to know about this life-changing thing that so few guys know about.

First of all, “Male Multiple Orgasm” is an awkward and pretty-much meaningless term simply because men can have two related but very different kinds of orgasms – one includes an ejaculation* and the other doesn’t.   

*To be completely accurate, researchers have found that at least some women do ejaculate a small amount of fluid when they orgasm.  Like I said, we’re much more alike than we are different.  Anyway…..

Around the internet, the term “Male Multiple Orgasm” seems to cover everything from 14 year olds who can jack-off a bunch of times in one bathroom extravaganza to the Tantric experiences imbedded in Eastern Philosophy.  Almost every boy practices the former and, reportedly Sting and Woody Harrelson are two of the more famous guys who practice the latter.  Based on my personal experience, what we call “Male Multiple Orgasm” is simply having an orgasm without cuming.  I suppose they added the word “multiple” because, when you don’t cum, you can pretty much have as many as you and your wife have the the inclination and time for.  And, surprise, they seem to be remarkably similar to my wife’s orgasms.  We’ve compared hers and mine many times and we seem to share the entire sequence of physical sensations from the moment we become aware of that luscious growing warmth centered in the groin until the last “Oh, god” convulsion fades away.  Learning how to do that, though, may take a little time and, perhaps, some attitude adjustment, but it can be done. 

I’m guessing the first question you might have is, “Why the hell would I want to do that?”  Because it feels good and because, when you can do that, you can have sex for an extended time and enjoy several orgasms (just like your wife), each more intense than the one before (just like your wife), without all the mess and the inevitable loss of enthusiasm that hits you after you have cum.  Just like your wife.  You and her become completely sexually compatible. That’s why.   

Another excellent reason is that when you get old, your prostate gland is almost certainly going to get big and lazy – which means you will probably have to add a middle-of-the-night pee to your itinerary.  And, because the prostate is intimately associated with ejaculation, you probably won’t be nearly as enthusiastic about cuming as you are now.  Luckily, pure orgasms* are just as intense as cumorgasms* and you can have all you like.  We’ll get into the new terms a couple of paragraphs down.  

The fact is that, if I couldn’t have pure orgasms now (I’m 77 years old), my ability to enjoy sex for myself and be a good lover for G would be severely diminished.  

  Short and long-term, you will be a better, more understanding, more knowledgable and more confident lover and she will appreciate that.  So will you.  You will take your sexuality to a whole new level which will be nice for you and her but also for your relationship, your family, your life.  There’s more, too, but we’ll talk about later.       

Before we get into this “Male Multiple Orgasm” thing, let’s deal with the inaccurate and confusing language.  The word “orgasm” as applied to the male of the species commonly means an orgasm accompanied by ejaculation.  But that isn’t the only kind of orgasm that we “multiply orgasmic” men have.  So I will substitute the term “pure orgasm” for the one without cuming and the word “cumorgasm” for the orgasm that includes ejaculation.  Silly word, maybe, but it is accurate.  I considered “ejaculorgasm” and “orjaculation” but they didn’t seem to have the same panache as “cumorgasm” and “non-ejaculatory orgasm” sounds like something the military issues. “Pure orgasm” is the one without cuming – like your wife’s – and “cumorgasm” is the one with cuming.  Don’t worry, you don’t have to choose which one to have, you can enjoy both.   

I became pure orgasmic by accident at the age of 47.  It only took me and G 30 years to discover it, true, but we didn’t know it was there until we did it and, then, neither of us knew what the hell had happened.  I had never heard of such a thing – didn’t know it existed.  I recalled the wet dreams from when I was a kid so I must have been aware that it was possible to ejaculate without having an orgasm but, without the orgasm, it was just stuff squirting out of my little peetie.  An embarrassing warm wetness.

All G and I knew when I began having pure orgasms was that we both liked it and were quickly getting better and better at it.  I suppose every marriage has periods of intense sexual activity interspersed with plateaus.  Any time we learn to play an instrument, to paint, to do anything creative, we experience those frustrating periods when we get stuck.  Plateaus.  My theory is that the left brain needs time to accumulate more data before it can turn it over to the right brain to play with and enjoy.  The only way through that is to just keep working/playing at it with some faith in yourself.  Of course, this new way of playing opened a whole slew of new doors for G and me.  It was a really nice time of renewed enthusiasm in our marriage and we both remember it fondly.  

The legitimate research I have seen about “Male Multiple Orgasm” indicates that, perhaps, 7% of the male population can do it.  That figure, however, comes from some vague statistics of Kinsey, so it is suspect.  Researchers found that a lot of the men who can do it don’t realize that most men can’t.  They just think all guys do it.  A lot of the research subjects found out that it was unusual when lovers asked them “…what the hell just happened?”  Most discovered it by accident, like me.  

Anyway, back to my story….

It was 1989.  I was recovering from a successful surgery.  I asked my doctor if G and I could have sex and she said, “…sure but take it easy for a few days”.  That evening I was laying on my back in bed, propped up on some pillows and following the doctor’s take-it-easy advice while G pleasured me orally – which, by the way, she pursues as an art form.  She loves it.  She experiments.  She varies tempo, pressure, suction, use of tongue, lips, cheeks, teeth, throat and her magic hands to find new ways to make me respond.  She’s been doing that for a long, long time and it just keeps getting better and better.  She enjoys the absolute control and loves to take me new places.  She can do the deep throat.  I’m not shitting you, I’m the luckiest son-of-a-bitch in the world.   

Anyway, that particular night she was playing around the glans – the “head” – the equivalent of her clitoris.  The glans and the membranes just behind the glans (those protected by the foreskin) are the most sensitive parts of the male body and she was working them perfectly.  What she was not doing, though, was stroking me.  That’s what I was mostly used to but I had promised the Doc I would take it easy.  So, not being able to respond in the old familiar way, I just became passive.  I relaxed into the new way of doing things and began to enjoy the slower pace and all the new sensations, the wonderful little games G was playing with me and how we were responding to each other.  Doing things that lovers do.     

Unexpectedly, I became aware of a very familiar warmth deep in my pelvis that tells all of us that an orgasm is building.  A couple of strokes and I would have had my usual expected cumorgasm but there were no strokes so everything happened a little differently this time.  It was pretty much the same process as I was used to except that I never felt like I was going to ejaculate.  I never felt the need.  

But I definitely felt everything else – that sudden explosion of warmth that shoots up your spine like a green fire and explodes in your brain, the deep whole-body muscle contractions that last for several minutes, the curling toes, gasping breath, grunts, exhalations to the creative source of all pleasure, moans…all of it.  But I hadn’t cum.  

I lay there with my rapidly wilting dick so sensitive I could feel the air currents in the room, waiting to get my breath and for the convulsions to subside, and realized that something very different had happened.  What the hell was that? 

G didn’t know, either, but I must say she was quite proud of herself.  Luckily, we remembered how she had done it so after I had recovered, she did it again.  It was absolutely exquisite.  

I gave her a couple of orgasms – cunnilingus and masturbation – and we blew out the candle.  Naturally, we were both curious and talked about it after the lights were out.  We were in our mid-40’s and had been fucking each other frequently and enthusiastically since high school and, suddenly, something very different happened?  Curious!  

I first believed, as we are taught to do when something different happens, that maybe something was wrong with me.  But, I felt fine and our sex was better than before.  Even so, next appointment, I talked to my family doctor about it.  He had no idea what the hell I was talking about.  Obviously, he had never heard of it and didn’t know how to talk about it.  Again, curious!      

Over a period of months, I mended from the surgery and G and I became quite proficient at this delightful new thing we could do.  We tried it a lot of ways and, although I did manage to do it during coitis (dick-in-vagina) once or twice, it was mostly produced by oral stimulation.  We talked about what was happening to me and when we compared our sensations and physical reactions during orgasm, it was obvious that I was having orgasms like her orgasms.  

They were produced in the same ways, the sequence of events, the intensity, the contractions were the same, the periods of sensitivity afterwards were the same and lasted about the same length of time and, like her, I could have two or three or five in a row and each was more intense than the one before.  The secret seemed to be in not stroking my dick.  When we were both ready, my final orgasm with an ejaculation was usually accomplished during coitis and was always spectacular.  Because each pure orgasm was more intense than the one before, that final cumorgasm was unbelievable.  

A related aside about premature ejaculation and not moving a muscle:  I realize that I am talking here about intense and fairly lengthy fuck sessions and that some of you are probably concerned about getting through the first 5 minutes without cuming.  I struggled with premature ejaculation for several years.  I tried jacking-off beforehand (no pun intended), thinking about baseball (I do enjoy post-season), having stern talks with my dick, silently screaming at it to not do what it always did – all that.  Nothing worked very well, at all.  But I noticed that, if I froze just before the cumorgasm was no longer controllable and asked G to not move a muscle, either, and waited perfectly still with my dick still in her vagina until the need for cumorgasm subsided, we could then fuck all night and I would never think about cuming until we were both ready for it.  

The secret seemed to be to take the urge to cum right up to the edge of losing it before stopping.  It was a learning process for both me and G so I’m sure I lost it a few times.  If you’re having problems with premature ejaculation, you might want to talk to your wife about this “don’t-move-a-muscle” trick and give it a try.  She is aware of what your body is doing and can help.  Let her read this and ask her to help you.  Play with it.  

A couple more quick hint about premature ejaculation:  I think you will find that, as you become more aware of the things that give her pleasure and consciously try to give her those things in as many different ways as you can think of – as you shift your attention more toward her and less about yourself and begin to enjoy creating and controlling her pleasures, you might find that the urge to ejaculate diminishes.  Also, you might try distracting yourself a little by touching her breasts or something else that will add another level to her pleasure.  

A word of warning, though, if you become preoccupied with her pleasure and not enough to your own, fucking can become a little too left-brain for your dick and he will lose interest – and you don’t want that.  Its called “spectatoring”.  If it happens, just tell you wife that you are going to be really selfish for awhile.  She will know how to help you.  

And, while we’re on the subject of not moving a muscle, try this one:  Next time your wife is starting to orgasm (you can tell), just before it explodes, calmly ask her to completely relax every muscle in her body.  You do the same.  She can breath but nothing else.  It might be difficult for her because, well, you know how it is when that orgasm starts its rush.  If she doesn’t relax, gently remind her again.  And hang on.  

The few seconds of mandated relaxation will intensify her orgasm which will explode momentarily.  Try it out and let me know how it works for both of you.  Interesting that suddenly stopping at just the right moment helped me overcome premature ejaculation (no pun intended) and it helps G intensify her orgasms.  You might want to play around with it and see what else it might add to your play sessions.

OK, back to the cumorgasm:  Where were we?  Oh, yes… because each pure orgasm was more intense than the one before, that final cumorgasm was unbelievable.  It was great.  We both had this new toy to play with that fundamentally changed how we fucked.  Part of that, I’m sure, was the fact that I was now free to really indulge myself.  And to indulge G.  

For the first time, we could freely play – interspersing coitus with oral sex and masturbating each other, and both enjoy several orgasms along the way.  It introduced entirely new experiences, sequences, and tempos to enjoy and we could end the evening with a final glorious cumorgasm made even more intense by the pure orgasms that had preceded it.  We learned how to occasionally enjoy a simultaneous orgasm as the grand finale.  That was (and still is) always a special treat.  

Also, because I was having the same experience as my wife, we became more in-synch with each others rhythms.  I gained a lot of confidence.  It was a very exciting time for us.  

Another aside, here:  This was the late 80’s and our daughter had gone off to college.  My wife and I were adapting to having the house to ourselves and enjoying a burst of new energy in our sexuality.  I assume that almost every couple goes through cycles of waxing and waning intensity in their sex lives.  My impression from comments by friends and acquaintances is that we had less of that than most, but we know what it feels like.  The “empty nest” syndrome can be a very good thing.  

Sex is a universal activity that most creatures seem to take very little pleasure in.  Fucking, however, is an activity that seems to be limited to humans and a few other fortunate large-brain life-forms.  It has many elements beyond merely moving sperm and is subject to all kinds of influences.  My wife and I enjoyed sex enough, though, to avoid a lot of the negative influences that can turn play into just going through the motions.  There will be plateaus but, as you get better at sex and better at being a husband, the plateaus will get shorter and farther apart.  You will find entirely new levels to explore and enjoy.  

So, why don’t most of us guys know about pure orgasms?  Of course I have a theory.  First of all, we guys just don’t talk about sex – so we all have to pretty much start from scratch and figure everything out for ourselves.  That’s stupid and sad but, unfortunately, that is the result of the religion-mandated sexual repression that most of us carry around.  Second, for most of us, masturbation is our entire sexual experience between the onset of puberty and when we fuck a real woman.  Its quick and easy.  All we need is our dominant hand and a couple of minutes.  We can do it standing up, sitting or laying down.  We can do it with our pants on or off.  Quietly or loudly.  With a magazine or without.  

But G and, according to research, most women seem to masturbate differently.  They apply different pressures and rhythms that directly or indirectly produce movement of the clitoris, building pleasure to the point of orgasm, then backing off for a few seconds to let the intensity subside before slowly building toward orgasm again.  According to the limited studies I have seen, masturbation for a lot of women is often a prolonged, relaxed and complicated endeavor.  

We guys, though, mostly just stroke it till it cums.  We “jack-off” with “off” being the fun part and the less time it takes to get there, the better.  We learned and diligently practiced a goal-oriented sexual pattern that inevitably leads directly to premature ejaculation, frustration, embarrassment, unwanted drama in our lives and, ironically, is completely incompatible with what most women want.  That’s what we learn when we first take dick-in-hand and that’s what a lot of us do with our wives until we realize that they might need to do something differently.  Or worse, you both just kind of lose interest.  

So that’s my theory – we learn a very basic pattern that satisfies our goal and we repeat it until it becomes our definition of successful sex.  We bring that goal and basic pattern that has almost become muscle-memory into our adult bedrooms where it doesn’t work very well.  It almost guarantees premature ejaculation.  And, they make it terribly difficult to be fully-satisfying lovers for our wives.  The good news is that we guys can change our goal and patterns and find a whole new world of pleasures to give and receive.  We can slow down, broaden our focus, become a little more passive, become more playful.  

When we guys learn how to just forget about cuming until both partners are ready, we become free to explore pleasure at entirely new levels without fear of that dreaded accident happening.  Our wives become free to play the way that pleases them.  Take your time.  Learn to enjoy all of her.  She will help you do that if you ask her.    

OK back to my story.  I broached the subject of what had happened to me to a couple of guys at work who I felt reasonably comfortable talking to.  But, like my doctor, they didn’t seem to know anything about it and definitely didn’t want to talk about it.  Guys don’t talk about sex except within certain very strict guidelines involving either humor or complaining or a combination of both, frequently using the former to disguise the latter.  

So, one warm Spring day, I took a day off work and rode my motorcycle down to Duke University and spent a few hours in one of their medical libraries looking for studies on human sexuality.   

I went through issues of The Journal Of  Sexual Behavior, Journal of Sex Research, Archives of Sexual Behavior and other similar publications and found an article that described perfectly what I was experiencing.  Holy, shit!  So, now, it had a name, I knew I wasn’t the only man who could do it and I knew there was nothing wrong with me.  They called it Male Multiple Orgasm.

A synopsis of a paper by Minas B. Robbins and Gordon D. Jenson published in The Journal Of Sex Research, Vol 14 1978 – Issue 1 entitled Multiple orgasm in males, based on research at California State U., Division of Nursing, Sacramento described the research and hypothesized that men can learn to separate orgasm from ejaculation.  That’s what was happening to me!   

That Journal article lead me to a book by Dr. William Hartman and Marilyn Fithian.  The full title is “Any Man Can – The Multiple Orgasmic Technique For Every Loving Man’.  I recommend you find a copy.  I got mine where I find a lot of great cheap used books delivered to my door –  

Keep in mind, though, that I didn’t learn how to have pure orgasms from the book.  I bought the book to find out more about what was going on.  Even so, I think the book will help you.  If nothing else, it will describe the experience so that you and your wife will sort of know where you’re going.  As I write this, they are showing several used copies for around $4.00.  The book documents Hartman and Fithian’s research at the Center For Marital and Sexual Studies in Long Beach, CA. and will give you some options for learning how to do it.  It gives some exercises and techniques that might help.  

I just lucked into discovering pure orgasms because my wife likes to play and I was in a passive frame of mind; but we’re all different and you and your wife will have to play around and find what works for you.  I can tell you that, based on my experiences, everything the Doctors wrote seems valid.  Plus, it’s an interesting read.  

  For me, the most important thing is to avoid stroking.  That is how I still do it.  If she (or I) strokes my dick, I will cum.  If she focuses her attention out around the glans and the sweet meat just behind it, I have a pure orgasm.  

The most important message of the book mentioned above is stated in the third paragraph of Chapter One,  Recordings confirmed that during one session these men (the research participants) could reach recognizable orgasm again and again – just as some women could.  In fact, unless we looked at the name of the subject, we could not tell whether a chart we studied was that of a female or male multi-orgasmic response.  There is no measurable, observable difference. 

There is no measurable, observable difference.  Think about the repercussions of that statement because that isn’t what most of us have learned on our way to adulthood.  It represents a completely new definition of not just “orgasm” but of male sexuality.  

We were self-taught that cuming is the goal and we have too often been limited by that goal.  This “no measurable, observable difference…” thing changes everything.  The factors that have limited our ability to be a fully-functioning, equal sex partner with our wives are gone.  You can fuck as long as she can.  You can stay with her until both of you have had enough.  You can know exactly what she feels when you jiggle her clit and spark that sweet sudden feeling of warmth that quickly grows into one of those magnificent deep orgasms.  All that is no longer a mystery.  You know.  

Please understand, too, that this is not just a “guy thing” – your wife will love it, too.  When G and I blundered into this wonderful new thing, I became better at giving her pleasure.  I also completely and forever forgot about premature ejaculation.  That “problem” just vanished.  This isn’t just about your pleasure – its also about her’s.  

Another factor, I believe, is a simple change in attitude.  When I learned to forget about cuming until we were both ready to get some rest, I began to really appreciate her, to take my time and explore her body, to learn where and how she liked being touched. There is a tremendous amount of excitement in being able to give pleasure well.   

I have tried to notice what happens differently when I have a pure orgasm from when I cumorgasm.  I felt, for awhile, that I must be “holding back” the ejaculation – doing something to prevent it – and then releasing it when it was time.  But it isn’t like that.  When I learned to separate them, they just became two different things that I can easily and subconsciously control.  Again, I believe it has a lot to do with whether my pleasure is concentrated on the glans area or if my wife is stroking me.  

Whatever happens, after a pure orgasm or two or even five, cuming is easy and super intense.  It’s like a spring gets wound up tighter and tighter and when you release it, it is more and more powerful.  Sometimes, after one of those super intense cumorgasms, my dick is so sensitive that I can feel the air currents in the room moving.  Then, occasionally, comes the wonderful afterglow when the skin over my whole body seems to have an almost-visible glow and radiate warmth.  Doesn’t happen often for me but, when it does, it is like a perfect gift.  My impression is that afterglow has historically been thought of as something only women experienced.  Not so.   

A word here about cum.  It has an acrid, strong metallic taste.  Before I learned the “don’t move a muscle” trick, I often had two or three cumorgasms before G was finished and invariably found myself face-down-and-up-to-my-ears lobes in her sweet, earthy-tasting pussy giving her orgasms.  Her pussy has a wonderful taste and odor developed over hundreds of thousands of years of evolution specifically to attract me.  And it does it job perfectly.  I love it.  However, after I’ve cum in it, that wonderful woman taste and odor gets mixed with my jizm – which was developed over hundreds of thousands of years merely to provide a safe chemical environment for my sperm long enough for one of them to reach an egg.  It tastes terrible.  Don’t expect your wife to enjoy swallowing that stuff.  

The point being, you don’t have to deal with loose jizm anymore.  You just wait to unload it until you are both ready for some shut-eye, leave it deep inside that perfectly warm, wet, luxurious vagina where it belongs and get some sleep.  And, you will enjoy your jizim-free pussy-boogers* in the morning.    

  * Pussy-boogers” are what forms in your nose after an excursion into the most intimate things you can do with a woman…if you do it right.  When you blow your nose the next day, you will notice a hint of her there.  A sweet little “oh, nice” moment – a secret reminder. 

Ok, enough about that for now.  Let’s move on to other things.

A word about the word “love”.  It has been trivialized into meaninglessness and I don’t use it much.  I especially don’t use the term “love-making” to mean sex because sex doesn’t necessarily have anything to do with love (and vice-versa) and to make them synonymous is confusing.  It lends a note of emotional legitimacy to something that may not deserve it and it isn’t serving us well.  I do like the word, “lover”, however.  To me, it describes a sexual partner who has learned the subtleties of giving pleasure, who appreciates the beauty and grace of good sex and who enjoys giving pleasure as much as they enjoy receiving it.  

Also I don’t use “cunt”.  It is used as a derogatory term and, besides, its more an impolite grunt than a word.  Most of the related words and terms that were sprinkled throughout pubescent male conversation will also go unused.  “Pussy” works.  It describes the whole perfect thing from the big ol’ bush outside to the sweet meat and clitoris to the warm, wet, luscious vagina.  It also contains a bare hint of the good kind of nastiness and its universally understood.    

A quick suggestion for maintaining a healthy long-term, stable relationship:  If you subscribe to or bring copies of “mens’ magazines” into the house, stop it.  If you “oooh” and “aww” over movie stars or musicians or whomever else they give you to “ooh” and “aww” over, its a put-down to your wife.  Even if she doesn’t say anything, its a put-down.  And, its unfair and it ain’t helping you get laid.  You don’t need that shit.  You’re supposed to be supporting each other.   

Similarly, if your wife is drooling around after some singer with a great butt, I know you don’t like it and you should tell her so.  Y’all need to stop all the bullshit games and appreciate what is real and right in front of you.  You can’t fuck a magazine and you can’t fuck your wife properly if she thinks you would prefer that she were somebody else.  And vice versa.

A word about play apparel:  When G and I were first married, we picked out stuff from the naughty catalogs to play with.  Usually see-through with lace.  A pink one is laying on the bed in a couple of those old Polaroids we took so long ago.  I remember it well.  But, those are expensive, usually really uncomfortable for her to sleep in and soon wind up in a drawer.  Here’s a suggestion that’s better – go to the mens underwear rack at your favorite store and buy a package of six tank-tops.  Get a variety of colors and a size that will be a little loose on her.  Now, get a pair of pinking shears – the ones with the rounded tips.  There might already be a pair around the house.  You with me, so far?  Tank-tops and pinking shears.  

OK, next time you have a little time and are in the mood for playing, you lay on your back with your head slightly elevated (so you can see and easily reach everything).  She puts on one of the the tank tops, sits astraddle of you and slides her warm, wet pussy down over your lucky dick and settles in.  She’s in charge of the fucking.  She sets the rhythm, pressure, angle, frequency, all of it, to please herself.  Your job is to take those pinking shears and very carefully and slowly demolish the tank top while it is still on her.  Be creative.  Open up the cleavage so you can get your hands in there.  Let a nipple peek through.  Remove the whole bottom just below her breasts.  Play!  Its cheap and I think you’ll both enjoy it a lot.

There are variations, too.  She can be in charge of the pinking shears and make the cuts where you ask her to or you can wear the tank-top and let her cut it to ribbons.    

Stating the obvious – when G and I were young and working and raising a family, there are severe limitations on the time and opportunity we had for sex, and I understand that you sometimes have to hurry, you have to put things off, you have to make do.  I just want to remind you that it won’t always be like that.  

The kids will go off and find their own lives, the house will get emptier and hopefully you will have adapted your hobbies, your friendships, your lifestyle to those changes.  You will have a lot more time and more time means freedom, joy and, best of all, opportunity.  We all have times we pretty much have to just put our heads down and plow through.  But don’t go thinking it will always be like that.  If you can keep your sexuality strong during those plowing times, you will be in a prefect position to really enjoy what follows. 

I’ve heard all kinds of shit about being compatible – intellectually, academically, racially, culturally, religiously, economically.  It seems to be important to all the experts but I can’t see that it is working especially well for most of us.  Look around.  Maybe, look in the mirror.  I think liking to fuck each other is at least as strong a basis for a lifetime relationship as all that other shit.  Generally speaking, everybody likes to fuck.  Or, at least they do unless or until something happens to screw that up.  You can fuck when you’re upset with each other.  It’ll be a little different but it will be good.  

If there are issues standing in the way of good sex in your relationship,  just wait until you are both really horny – when you sense an eagerness, a hunger in her – and you return that eagerness.  Those times are powerful.  Tell her how she affects you.  Tell her about the things you really love to touch and taste and smell and feel.  Just be truthful and real; don’t make up some shit you think she wants to hear.  Encourage her to use you to pleasure herself.  Allow her to be selfish.  Have fun.  

Tell her how much you love to fuck her.  Maybe she doesn’t know that.   

And finally,  couple of general observations from an old guy:  If somebody tells you that something is “human nature”, they are trying to justify something that cannot be justified in a civil society and, if someone tells you that something is “common sense”, it is a personal opinion based on little evidence.  

Next time, we’ll compare the male and female bodies, talk some about de-cluttering your life and get into some other stuff.    

For now I leave you with the sweet smell of pussy-boogers in your nose and a whole new facet of your sexuality to explore.  So go brush your teeth, shave close, wash your hands.  Then, slide your hand inside her blouse and tell her you want to fuck her.  Go play.

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